“Your mother-in-law is not your mother” — Twice-divorced woman advises lady during wedding preparation

A Nigerian lady’s encounter with her former school officer has sparked intense debate online after she shared the unexpected marriage advice she received.

The story, posted on X (formerly Twitter), has since generated mixed reactions, with many questioning whether experience always equals wisdom.

Wedding Visit Turns Into Life Lecture

According to the bride-to-be, she visited her school officer to deliver her wedding invitation. What she expected was a simple congratulatory message.

Instead, she received what she described as a carefully delivered list of warnings.

The officer, who has been married and divorced twice and is now reportedly dating a married man, examined the invitation closely before offering advice.

“She looked at my invitation, smiled slowly, and said, ‘Let me advise you,’” the lady wrote.

The Seven Marriage Rules

The officer’s advice was direct and unapologetic.

First, she warned the bride never to start buying household items with her own money. According to her, once a woman starts, it becomes her permanent duty.

She added that a woman’s income should remain hers alone, while the husband’s income should cater for the family.

She also discouraged joint property ownership, advising the young woman to buy her assets separately.

On children, she insisted that the wife should be the sole decision-maker regarding how many to have.

When the bride mentioned she would adopt her husband’s surname, the officer reportedly disagreed.

“No need. What do you need his name for? Keep your father’s name,” she advised.

Finally, she warned her not to become too close to her mother-in-law.

“Your mother-in-law is not your mother, she is not yours friend. Don’t be too open,” she said.

Wisdom or Unhealed Pain?

The bride responded politely, saying, “Thank you, ma.”

However, she admitted that the advice left her thinking deeply.

“Was that wisdom speaking? Or wounds talking?” she asked.

That question has now become the centre of online discussion.

Some social media users argued that the officer’s advice reflected hard lessons from painful experiences.

Others described the guidance as bitter, defensive and rooted in distrust.

Marriage Through Different Lenses

Relationship experts often say that personal experiences shape marital expectations.

For some, divorce becomes a teacher. For others, it becomes a shield.

The viral post has reopened conversations about financial independence in marriage, joint assets, surname choices and boundaries with in-laws.

While opinions remain divided, one thing is clear.

Marriage advice, especially from those who have been hurt, can carry both truth and trauma.

As the debate continues, many are asking themselves a simple question.

When elders speak about marriage, are they protecting you — or projecting their pain?

Only the bride can decide what advice to keep and what to leave behind.