“There’s no such thing as suffering with a man” — Lady sparks online debate
A social media post by a Nigerian Lady has sparked widespread debate online after she dismissed the idea of “suffering with a man” in a relationship, linking such claims to financial dependence.
The post, shared on X (formerly Twitter), challenged women to rethink narratives around sacrifice, poverty, and personal responsibility in relationships.
“There’s no such thing as suffering with a man”
In her viral post, the woman argued that hardship in relationships is often misunderstood and wrongly blamed on a partner’s lack of money.
She wrote, “There’s no such thing as suffering with a man. I don’t think it exist in relationships.”
According to her, the issue is not dating a broke man, but lacking personal financial stability.
She stated, “The reason you’re suffering is not because your boyfriend is broke, It is because you are Poor!!”
Questioning the logic behind such suffering, she added, “Boyfriend no get money. Girlfriend no get money. But na the girl dey suffer with the guy?? Make it make sense 🤷♀️.”
Message on independence and self-worth
The writer insisted that financial dependence reflects low self-belief and limits personal growth.
She wrote, “Logically you’re looking down on yourself, it means that you’re not capable of making money, that’s why you have to wait for your boyfriend to make the money so you can spend it with him.”
She also warned against future regret narratives, saying, “If tomorrow he makes it, then dumped you, you start saying ‘after I suffered with him, he broke up with me’.”
She ended with a direct call to action, urging women to focus on their own hustle.
According to her, “Sister, go and hustle and make your own money. Dem no forbid you to make money.”
Public reactions trail the post
The post drew strong reactions from social media users, with many sharing differing perspectives on money and gender roles.
Mannie wrote: “Always funny when you ask a girl to imagine her future, and in the imagination, she is still poor but looking for a rich man.”
Victor wrote: “This is because they believe it’s a mans role to only have money and provide for the relationship while also thinking they deserve more since they are female gender. This is why the standards or criteria of these type of women will always be money first.”
Purpose wrote: “This happens because before now, women, especially of African descent, have been conditioned to wait for a man to marry them and take care of their needs. So when you’re with a man, you’re both hoping on his finances. Education + Westernization is why we know better today.”
Favour wrote: “Two adults with no money shouldn’t have one martyr. If your survival depends on his future, that’s not love, it’s leverage. Build your own value, so love is a choice, not a necessity. Love is sweeter when two people are building, not one person begging the future.”
The conversation continues to trend online, reflecting evolving views on relationships, money, and independence.
