“Never mock a situation you’ve not experienced” – Lady shares parenting struggles after criticising friend

A Nigerian lady, Aanuoluwapo Ade-Alao, has shared her experience about motherhood, revealing the harsh realities that made her reflect on mocking a friend for having a messy home.

Early Judgment of a Friend

Ade-Alao recounted how she and her friends used to criticise one of their peers who got married early and had children while they were in university.

“One of my friends got married quite early. She got pregnant to a much older guy when we were in 200 level. That was the first ore Iyawo wedding I attended in my life,” she wrote on Facebook.

According to her, by the time they reached their final year, the friend already had two children.

During visits to her house, Ade-Alao noticed it was often untidy, with dishes, clothes, and toys scattered around.

On one visit, the sitting room smelled strongly of urine. At the time, she and her friends dismissed the situation as laziness, questioning how anyone could manage her home.

Experiencing Motherhood Firsthand

After completing NYSC, Ade-Alao got married and had her own daughter. She quickly realised that raising a child was far more demanding than she had imagined.

Her daughter, just six months old, would frequently make a mess, knocking over objects, spilling water, and at one point, defecating on the bed.

Ade-Alao described moments of extreme exhaustion.

“I felt like carrying her and hitting her at least a hundred times, but I just couldn’t. I was so weak and tired that I just sat down on the cold tile and started talking to myself,” she wrote.

During these challenging moments, memories of her friend’s struggles flashed in her mind.

She reflected on the strength it must have taken to care for two children in two years.

A Moment of Reflection

Ade-Alao said the experience humbled her and made her understand her friend’s situation.

After cleaning up the mess, she admitted she had judged unfairly and prayed for forgiveness.

“I had to bathe her, clean the bed and soak the duvet. Thereafter, I just lied down on the tiles and started begging God for forgiveness for thinking she was lazy and dirty,” she said.

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