Man blasts ‘don’t marry a woman you didn’t disvirgin’ trend, says ‘marriage is not a reward for virginity’
A Nigerian man has sparked reactions online after sharing his thoughts on the importance of character over virginity in marriage.
The post, shared on Facebook by Solomon Chidubem, challenges a trending statement that advised men not to marry women they did not “disvirgin.”
His response has since generated widespread discussion on relationships and expectations in marriage.
Challenging Popular Belief
According to the man, while purity is admirable, it should not be treated as the sole factor in choosing a life partner.
He argued that many people overlook essential qualities like communication, emotional maturity, and respect.
He stressed that being a virgin does not automatically translate to being a good partner or guarantee a successful marriage.
Emphasis on Character and Maturity
The man further explained that long-term relationships are built on habits, mindset, and emotional intelligence rather than physical history.
He noted that some individuals may uphold purity but still lack the qualities needed to sustain a healthy home.
He encouraged women to focus on personal growth, self-development, and relationship skills instead of relying solely on virginity as a standard for marriage.
In his words: “Don’t marry a woman you didn’t disvirgin. I saw this statement trending, and honestly, it sounds bold, but it’s dangerously misleading.
Let’s tell the truth nobody wants to say. Yes, keeping yourself as a woman till marriage is beautiful, disciplined, and honorable. No argument there. But virginity is NOT a personality. It is NOT a relationship skill. And it is definitely NOT a guarantee for a successful marriage.
Some women are proudly ‘pure’ but can’t communicate. Can’t respect. Can’t manage emotions. Can’t build peace in a home. Meanwhile, some men are walking away from ‘good girls’ not because they’re not virgins, but because they lack wisdom, maturity, and value.
Let me say something that might trigger you. A man is not looking for untouched, he’s looking for unproblematic peace. Marriage is not a reward for virginity, it’s a responsibility for maturity.
Stop selling women the idea that just keep yourself and a husband will appear. No. Build yourself. Grow your mindset. Learn how to love, respect, communicate, and support.
Because on the wedding night, virginity might impress, but after marriage, CHARACTER is what sustains. This is not to discourage purity. This is to correct the mindset. Because some of you are preserving your body, but neglecting your attitude. And marriage doesn’t survive on hymens, it survives on habits…”
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