“I work every day to provide, must I still cook and clean?” — Man’s comment sparks debate online

A man has shared how a discussion on shared domestic responsibilities during a church service sparked a tense exchange between a pastor and a married congregant in Abuja earlier this year, drawing renewed attention to gender roles within modern marriages.

The incident occurred during a sermon focused on partners supporting one another with household chores.

According to the account, the pastor encouraged married couples to view domestic work as a shared responsibility, particularly when both spouses are employed outside the home.

A question from the pews

The man recounted that a married congregant challenged the message from his seat.

“The man stood up and said, ‘But pastor, I go to work every day to provide for the family. How do you expect me to still cook and clean?’” he said, noting that the question immediately drew attention across the church hall.

The exchange did not end there. “The pastor asked him calmly, ‘Does your wife go to work?’ and the man answered yes,” the narrator added, explaining that the response prompted murmurs among congregants as the discussion shifted.

A wider conversation on marriage roles

The pastor used the moment to stress balance in marriage, emphasizing that paid employment does not exempt either partner from domestic contribution.

The narrator said the message resonated with some worshippers, while others appeared uncomfortable with the implication.

Debates over household labour have previously stirred public discourse. In 2022, a viral social media conversation on whether working Nigerian wives should still bear primary responsibility for housework generated sharp divisions, reflecting changing economic realities and cultural expectations.

Public reaction to the church incident has been mixed, with some Nigerians applauding the call for shared responsibility, while others argue that traditional role definitions should remain intact.

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