“I am lost…” — Man’s hidden romance in Germany exposed as wife discovers chat

A Nigerian man has shared a detailed account of how a past relationship in Germany is now threatening his marriage, after his wife discovered a message from another woman on his phone.

In a lengthy confession, the man admitted he maintained two relationships at different times and failed to fully disclose the truth before getting married in July 2025.

How It All Began

According to him, he met his wife in 2019 and they began dating in 2020.

In February 2022, he travelled to Germany for his Master’s degree and promised to marry her.

He encouraged her to return to the College of Nursing for an additional qualification to improve their future prospects abroad.

He said adjusting to life in Germany was difficult, but he tried to remain focused and supportive of his partner back home.

In September 2022, he met another Nigerian woman in Germany, a pharmacist who had lived there for two years. She offered to help him with his pharmacist registration process.

Along the way, she expressed interest in a relationship. He admitted he failed to clearly reject her and kept her close as a friend.

He acknowledged that he liked her but could not fully commit because of his girlfriend in Nigeria, who was also facing challenges in nursing school.

He confessed that he kept “two options,” wondering what would happen if his girlfriend later decided not to marry him.

Relationship Deepens Despite Doubts

The man said he eventually began dating the woman in Germany after persistent pressure from her. He did not tell her he had a girlfriend back home.

He believed that, with time, one of the relationships might naturally end. He also noted that the woman held feminist views and was active in her church.

When he realised how far things had gone, he attempted to end the relationship but admitted he had developed feelings and repeatedly reconciled with her.

In 2024, he travelled to Nigeria to see his girlfriend and became convinced she was “here to stay.” He then began distancing himself from the woman in Germany.

However, he described the separation as difficult because they had “grown together.” He finally ended the relationship before his wedding in July 2025.

He said the woman told others that he had broken her heart. Despite this, he claimed he remained firm in his decision.

Wedding Photo Sparks Suspicion

The man explained that they later reduced communication to occasional conversations, about once or twice a week.

In September 2025, both attended his landlord’s wedding in Germany and took a photograph together.

In February this year, he travelled to Port Harcourt to spend Valentine’s Day with his wife. He said he had not spoken to the other woman for about two weeks at that time.

While in Nigeria, his wife checked his phone and found the photograph from the wedding. She asked if the woman was the same person he had mentioned before, and he confirmed.

He admitted he had never told his wife about the full relationship, fearing it would hurt her.

As he tried to explain, a new message from the woman in Germany appeared on his phone while his wife was holding it.

The Message That Changed Everything

The message read:

“Hi. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I wanted to reach out one last time to leave things on a good note.

I want you to know there’s no bad blood from my side.

What we shared was real, and I’ll always remember our time together fondly.

We were good in many ways, but as time went on, the family dynamics and the trust issues made it clear that moving forward could mean more harm than good.

When I blocked you, it wasn’t out of anger or to hurt you.

I genuinely needed space to think clearly and ask myself whether this was something I could do for the rest of my life.

Realizing that trust was one of the biggest challenges helped me understand that stepping away was the healthiest decision for both of us, even though it wasn’t an easy one.

I truly wish you nothing but the best moving forward. I hope your new job brings you growth, success, and fulfillment, and that life treats you kindly in this next chapter.

Take care, and thank you for the memories.

Ps. I only blocked you for a week, and I understand you blocking me right back! You can do that here, too, if it makes you feel better.”

His wife reportedly became inconsolable after reading the message.

She responded from his phone, writing:

“I am married now. I am sorry I didn’t tell you that blankly. I understand how you feel. Have a good life”.

Marriage on the Brink

The man said he had assured his wife that he had severed ties and had not engaged in any physical contact since their marriage.

However, he admitted he never disclosed the full extent of the relationship in Germany.

He said his wife recalled a period in 2024 when he seemed emotionally distant and reminded him of his promise to cut off the other woman.

Although he insists he is no longer involved, he acknowledged that his wife has already drawn her own conclusions from the message.

“I am lost, and I feel like I am losing my wife,” he wrote, pleading for help on how to convince her that the relationship has ended.

The story has sparked conversations online about honesty, long-distance relationships, and the consequences of keeping emotional “options” before marriage.