A Nigerian singer, Damilola Praiseworth, has narrated how he almost destroyed his marriage even before it began because he was hanging on to a ‘harmless friendship’.
According to Damilola, he was still having vulnerable conversations with a female friend while having a committed relationship with his woman, but he later came to understand that God’s design for intimacy in a relationship and marriage is such that you share your complete commitment, emotions and vulnerable moments with your partner and your partner alone.
He also said that the ‘harmless friendship’ cost him everything. Read his story below…
“I almost destroyed my marriage even before it began because I was hanging on to a ‘harmless friendship’. This would have cost me everything.
Before I met my wife, I unconsciously had the need to keep close friends of the opposite sex. This made me feel good about myself and have a sense of satisfaction that I was admired.
When I finally met my wife, we both decided to be committed to our relationship and focus on making it work by being committed to each other to a point where we both knew that we were each others safe space.
Even though I agreed to this commitment, I found myself trying to still manage the emotions of my ‘harmless friend’ who I was used to having long vulnerable conversations and chatting all day with.
I found myself deleting call histories, and chats just to proof to my wife I was keeping to my end of the bargain. Even though the conversations I was having with this friend were ‘harmless’, I later came to realise that I was being unfaithful with my emotions.
The few times my wife (then girlfriend) noticed our interactions, I found myself being defensive as to why it was harmless and meant nothing, and even did more to hide the fact that we were still in very constant communication.
Thankfully, I came to understand that God’s design for intimacy in a relationship and marriage is such that you share your complete commitment, emotions and vulnerable moments with your partner and your partner alone…
…and the moment you start having such vulnerable moments and heart warming conversations with another person outside your relationship/marriage, it is emotional unfaithfulness which ultimately leads to infidelity.
Without any more drama, I let go of the friendship and focused on my relationship which led to us being engaged and now married.
Now my wife is my safe space, and my only person in the whole world and so am I to her.”