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MUST READ :- After BreakUp, Life Goes On.



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One of the hardest things to do in life is to walk out or let go of a relationship. No matter what the cause of a breakup, learning to let go just often isn’t easy to do. It could be the one that got away, a first love, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or unrequited love. Regardless of the situation, learning to let go of what’s over is often a very difficult thing to do and the hurt can often last for years if a person simply won’t break the hold.

Recovering from the horrible pain and hurt of a broken relationship is no easy task. When love is found, one naturally wants to believe it will last forever. And it’s great when it does. But when it doesn’t, the hurt and pain can be devastating. But even more devastating can be the pain and suffering the person experiences from not letting go of what’s gone and moving on with living.

Turning off feelings for someone isn’t like turning off a light switch. When a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean the feelings disappear or go away. Being left alone with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, anger, grief, rejection, and despair can prove to be overwhelming. The person might find themselves attempting to contact the other person, making up reasons to be where the other person is, calling them repeatedly, etc….anything to keep in contact with the other person or have some kind of hold or attachment still with them. And while it’s a natural thing to want to do this, it prevents us being healed of the relationship.

In order to let go and live again, the past must be closed. It is impossible to live in the past. You can’t look forward to a future when you live in what was, rather than in the here and now. What has happened is gone, and no amount of wanting, wishing, or regret will undo or changed what’s already happened and is over with.

To put closure on the past, you have to let go of the feeling that you can’t make it without the other person. Feelings of failure, trying to contact the person (unless you have children together), dependency, guilt, resentment, and anger… all of these feelings must be dealt with and brought under control. While they are normal to feel, continuing to harbor them keeps you from being healed of the hurt, and therefore keeps you from living and being happy again.

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Often when a relationship ends, one or both parties have the mindset that they are a failure. They measure their self worth by whether a relationship lasted or died. One’s self worth should never be measured by another person, but rather how they are. When you love yourself, you will learn that your self worth does not revolve around another person but rather is enhanced by the other person.

While there is just no way to magically heal the pain and hurting of a lost relationship, there are ways to help yourself heal. The main thing is that you have to allow yourself to want to heal, and not keep clinging to something that you simply cannot change.

Here are the Seven Steps that you need to take to move forward and recover from the end of a break-up.

1. Recognize that you won’t feel this badly forever. While you’re in the midst of it, you can’t see that time will heal . . . but it will.

2. Accept that the relationship really is over. People keep hanging on, hoping that things will improve when they know that there’s no hope. It prolongs the pain.

3. Integrate the fact that your former partner has changed and may be beyond caring for your welfare. As much as you just wish that you could bring him or her back to the way they used to be, they have already moved on.

4. Understand why he/she needs to justify his/her actions any way possible-including rewriting history, lying or attacking you. In order to avoid feeling so guilty, the person who leaves often exaggerates any negatives in the relationship to help them feel better.

5. Give up trying to get the acknowledgment and apology that you deserve. You can’t always get closure – you have to know when to cut your losses and just give up trying.

6. Turn your focus from the past to the future. It takes a conscious effort to stop ruminating on the past and start planning for your future.

7. Celebrate your new life as a single person. Life is long and there is always a chance for happiness if you look for it!

I’m wondering if i made any sense at all. Cos i’m no relationship expert.

This Post Was Culled From @StraitTwistedMe’s ’30 days blogging’ post on his personal blog .

Do drop a comment if you read till the end. Thanks…

10th October 2012

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  1. Whowhe Bennydibtah God'sglory

    Apr 26, 2012 at 13:53

    In your own way, u ‘ve tried. I give 2 u rite there. Is a gud 1 guy, kip it up.

    • Frank Eveans

      Oct 13, 2013 at 02:18

      THE GREAT DR NICE OKSE WHO BROUGHT MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME IN JUST ONE DAY. My name is Nancy frank from uk, I got married 1 year ago. My husband and I have been living a very happy and lovely life. So as time went on, I began to notice this strange attitude that he was possessing. He was now going out with other girls, to the extent that he was no longer picking up my calls, and he was not even sleeping in the house anymore. I became confused and didn’t know what to do anymore. So i became worried and stranded, that brought so many thoughts into my mind, because I have never experienced a thing like this in my life. So I decided to visit a spell caster, to see if he can help me out. So immediately I went to the internet, where I saw an amazing testimony of a spell caster who brought someone’s ex lover back, “DR NICE OKSE ” so I contacted him immediately and I explained to him all my problems and he told me that it will be very easy for him to solve, compare to the ones that he has done before. And he also gave me some proof to be really sure of his work, and he assured me that my husband will come back to me as soon as he is through with the spell casting. And also he told me to put all my trust in him, and I really obeyed him. So it was 8:00 am on the next morning, when I was about going to work, when i received my husband call, and he told me that he was coming back home, and he was apologizing to me telling me that he is very sorry for the pain that he has cost me. And after some hours later, he really came back home, and that was how we continued our marriage with lot of love and happiness, and our love was now stronger than how it were before. DR NICE OKSE also told me that once my heart desire has been granted unto me that i should go and testify of his work right here on the internet. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth today as I am writing this testimony, and I want to really thank “DR NICE OKSE for bringing back my husband, and for bringing joy and love to my family. So my greatest advice for you out there who your husband or your wife is acting strange, or you have any problem with your relationship or anything that has to do with spell casting,He is capable of solving any problems.All you need do is for you to contact this man anytime, and i assure you that he will be of help to you,I am 100% sure that he will solve it out. (, THANK YOU DR NICE OKSE

  2. Ayo Ilesanmi (@synedexter)

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:05

    plenty sense there but there’s really no hard and fast rule to anything to do with relationships…even when you think you’ve moved on…there’s still that feeling that hits you when you meet them or see them…my experience…

  3. @mz_dayniike

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:20

    This post is really nice and yh,I av learnt a lot! Thanks,I honestly feel better! 🙂 x_X

  4. UnaabClique (@UnaabClique)

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:22

    Nice 1 bruv.

  5. @Olutayomi

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:22


  6. Twirl

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:23

    Cool post.No rules apply to relationship tho. U set it as it goes

  7. 'Denike

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:23

    This post is really nice and yh,I av learnt a lot! Thanks,I honestly feel better 🙂 x_X

  8. DonCaprio

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:24

    The last part, (Y)

  9. @mz_dayniike

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:24

    This post is really nice and yh,I av learnt a lot! Thanks,I honestly feel better!! 🙂 x_X

  10. Modupe

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:25

    True, u can’t hold on and expect to move on.

  11. Oore

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:25

    I really needed this

  12. Olaleye

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:26

    As usual, top notch

  13. Mz_ShortCake

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:30

    Deep & Touching. somone out there obviously needs this.

  14. @le_Modelle

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:31

    Damn! This is nice 🙂

  15. Sunmi

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:42

    This should be a Wake up call for those who areintensely stuck in a good gone bad relatnship. Its nt as easy as u make it sound tho. But one thing for sure is U can’t find a new and satisfying thing unless u let go of the old. Good job

  16. epictemi

    Apr 26, 2012 at 14:57

    nice advice but its easier said than done. from my experience u never really recover from a heartbreak cos you were hurt so bad. you’ll keep getting reminders and memories trigger feelings. d whole love thing is far more complicated than we think. we just TRY to move on and hope to forget. not easy i tell u

  17. smartgeek

    Apr 26, 2012 at 15:34


  18. SuperGirl

    Apr 26, 2012 at 15:36


  19. Kontrol geh

    Apr 26, 2012 at 15:37

    Nice, but wgat worlks for Mr A, might not work for Mr B

  20. MissAdeyemw

    Apr 26, 2012 at 15:38

    Nice post

  21. @priscieby

    Apr 26, 2012 at 15:40

    Nice post! There are no strict rules to get over a sour relationship, so one can only try to move on and not look back.

  22. jeed ahmed

    Apr 26, 2012 at 16:18

    ⌣»̶·̵̭̌·̵̭̌✽̤̈̊Ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇✽̤̈̊·̵̭̌·̵̭̌ ı̣̣̣†̥̥’s really help

  23. tee

    Apr 26, 2012 at 17:10

    nice one

  24. Lamziee

    Apr 26, 2012 at 17:18

    Gosh, this is soo cool, learnt a lot of things… Thanks for d post

  25. orifunke

    Apr 26, 2012 at 19:33


  26. weird_oo

    Apr 28, 2012 at 17:54

    Again, never been in this situation.

  27. weird_oo

    Apr 28, 2012 at 17:55

    Again, never been in this situation. ok i have broken up with people but i find it easy to move. wait. i think that’s because i did the whole breaking… well whatever.

  28. Tiny

    Apr 30, 2012 at 05:20

    I needed this ..

  29. tomi

    May 4, 2012 at 23:28

    luv it only hope d theory gets to play in reality

  30. Olusegun

    Oct 6, 2012 at 13:31

    Makes perfect sense. So true, a piece!

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