Growing up as a child, I was a slim, tall, leggy beauty! I was the girl everyone wanted to be friends with. Most guys would lie to their friends I was their girlfriend. Cars would follow me home from the bus stop and my Grandmother (God rest her soul) would haul all the insults at me for walking provocatively on the street. I’d argue with her it’s what my job ethics called for as I was a top model with Modela Agency and the street is our runway most times. Arguments would end on a slap note for talking back at her or keeping mute on her! Parents!!! You are never right with them. How I miss you Alhaja🙂
Everyone admired me and would shout “hot stepper” when I walk. But this hot stepper had one pain she nursed in her heart- my facial marks. I felt it was a hinderance for me being a beauty queen, being a super model, being a flawless model! Each year, Uncle B, Modela, would prepare me for the big stage and I’d chicken out last minute for fear of my “flaw”. The only person I shared this with was my other self when I looked in the mirror.
I would spend minutes wishing I know the old man who marked my face and question my parents why it had to be me of all my siblings…. Fast forward many years later, I realized the only person who stopped me from achieving my goals as a would be beauty queen was myself. My self esteem was so low I supressed myself on many frontier… maybe I’d have been the first beauty queen with facial marks🤔
It’s ironic how people wanna be you and all you see about yourself is a chubby face or a flabby belly. Not so cool. We need to constantly see beyond our supposed flaws, they are all in our heads. If you do not feel beautiful skin deep, you can’t feel beautiful on the inside. No one can love you than you. If you like kill yourself in the quest of looking “perfect” because of a man or a woman, you will still see yourself like a bag of shit on the inside. For true perfection is inside out and it’s a place only you can find.
Would I remove my facial marks today? Hell NO! I love how artistic they look😍😍 Moreso I need no one’s validation to feel beautiful or live life. You like me, Thank you. You don’t like me, I don’t expect everyone to.😎
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