AKPOS was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).The following transpired between Akpos and the mai shayi.
AKPOS: u get loaf of bread?
AKPOS: bring one; slice am two and put 2 sachet of butter in btwn.
ABOKI: happy and tankin God 4 bringing customer, was just doing as he is told)
AKPOS: u get egg?
ABOKI: yes customer
AKPOS: fry 6 eggs put am btwn the bread.
ABOKI: Okay customer
AKPOS:u get sadin 4 inside gongoni?
ABOKI: yes customer everytin dey.
AKPOS: put two gongoni inside the bread.
ABOKI: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, in his mind he wil make a lot of money 2day)
AKPOS:u don finish? Oya press the bread for me.
ABOKI: See am customer, i don prepare am finish.
AKPOS: . . . . . OYA CUT TEN NAIRA OWN FOR ME.=))
Akpos knocked on the gate of a brothel in a red light district. The madam opened the brothel door to see a young man called Akpos. His clothes were all tattered and he looked needy.
”Can I help you?” the madam asked.
”I want Comfort,” Akpos replied.
”Young Man, Comfort is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else…”
”No, I must see Comfort.” Akpos replied. Just then Comfort appeared and announced to Akpos that she charges N50,000 per visit.
Akpos never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her fifty pieces of N1,000 notes. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding Comfort.
Comfort explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. it was still N50,000. Again Akpos took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later.
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Comfort the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Comfort questioned Akpos: “No one has ever used my services three nights in a row… where are you from?”
Akpos replied, “I am from Warri.” “Really?” replied Comfort, “I have a brother who lives there and does business.”
”Yes; I know,” Akpos replied. “He gave me N150,000 to give to you.”
Akpors loses everything due to his drinking habit.
One evening he saw empty bottles on the bar table, he smashes 3 bottles swearing, “My wife left me because of you!”
“You are the reason I don’t have kids!”
“You are the reason I don’t have a job!”
He was about to smash the fourth bottle but realized it was sealed and full of beer… So he said”Stand aside, I know you were not involved…”=D =D
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